How to soften a hard heart

Kimberly Taylor writes (paraphrased):

A person who is injured physically develops a scab. The same thing can happen to your heart. You might believe hardening your heart is necessary to protect you from further hurt. If you have a hard heart, you won’t be able to fully believe and receive God’s love. Receiving God’s love puts you in a position of vulnerability and trust, which will scare you if you're wounded and hardened.... 

Here is another sobering thought: A person can even try to minister to others from a hard heart! But love won’t motivate their service. They will serve out of legalism, duty, obligation, and drudgery. It is obvious they do not find joy in their service either.

Hard-hearted ministry is not good.
Stay far away from anyone coming at you in a hard, legalistic, mean spirit.

Kimberly offers a prayer to soften our hearts, from Ezekiel 36:26, a much shortened version is paraphrased here:
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May I receive a new heart and a new spirit within me. May the Lord take the heart of stone out and give me a heart of flesh so I may receive the full measure of God’s love. I command any evil spirits deceiving me into thinking that a hard heart is necessary for my safety and protection to leave me in the name of Jesus. Let me declare according to Psalm 30:11-12: You turned my mourning into dancing; You clothed me with gladness. May I sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

I liked Kimberly's approach because she alludes to a bit of a toolkit. Specifically: ASK, Observe and Eliminate or Release as needed, Declare, be Grateful.  All of us have some hardness in our hearts. We need those wounds healed. (Kimberly also offers a free 40-day thinking challenge.)

In my meditation time, I intend to: QUIET my mind, ASK my creator to show me what wounds and scabs are in my heart, OBSERVE and intentionally release what is shown to me. Then I will DECLARE praises to my loving creator, source, father, savior, and precious holy spirit, pumping up true gratitude, and allowing joy to fill within me, in the presence and in relationship with the eternal almighty. (It will probably take a lot more than one session. And that's ok.)

For more work in healing these wounds, check out Katie Souza and her work on "soul tombs".

If you're stuck, pray in tongues every day, for long periods of time or at least as long as you can, until you get breakthrough, because these prayers reprogram your subconscious mind:

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:26-28).

Or, if you're super stuck (feeling numb or feeling raw), you might need to break off a curse that is on you - and it could be on you from prior generations. God will reveal it to you. Find someone credible (who truly lives the evidence of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control) who is gifted in this area, and ask for help.