you are loved and empowered
This is what Jesus prayed for you (very important you know this deep in your heart):
At John 17:21-23, Jesus prayed:"I pray for them all to be joined together as one even as You and I, Father, are joined together as one. I pray for them to become one with Us so that the world will recognize that You sent Me. For the very glory You have given to Me I have given them so that they will be joined together as one and experience the same unity that We enjoy. You live fully in Me and now I live fully in them so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that You have sent Me, for they will see that You love each one of them with the same passionate love that You have for Me." (The Passion Translation)
Chew on Jesus's prayer for you (above), and chew on Paul's response (below):
Galatians 2:20:"My old identity has been co-crucified with Messiah and no longer lives; for the nails of His Cross crucified me with Him. And now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives His life through me — we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God who loves me so much that He gave Himself for me, and dispenses His life into mine!" (The Passion Translation)
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Invite the Holy Spirit into your being. Ask God to commune with you. Then pay attention.