Deception versus rebellion
A quote from Patricia King's book, Overcoming the Spirit of Narcissism, (kindle version, at location 122 of 780): "When you are deceived you do not know it; that is the nature of it. Deception is different from rebellion. If you were to rebel, you would know what is right yet deliberately choose to do what is wrong. When deceived, you actually believe you are right. Deception creates blind spots in your perception so that you cannot actually see the truth. What you believe feels like the truth when you are deceived."
Meditation: If there is any part of your life that "isn't working" it may be because of a deception. Still yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any deception to you. If its too difficult to be still, go prayer walking (especially pray in tongues) and ask for revelation of any deception.
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Invite the Holy Spirit into your being. Ask God to commune with you. Then pay attention.